You know how you can easily see something in someone else that they can’t easily see in themselves?
Like a self-sabotaging habit, or that situation they trip at every time it shows up in different forms?
Like having a great thing show up but pulling back at the last minute? Or hiding with food, TV, Facebook, running or you name it, to avoid a feeling or a person?
I can go on but you get the point.
So today, I saw one of mine. It’s still hazy but it has to do with ‘taking a step.’
As in, just get on with it already.
I’d like to say it’s not because I’m indecisive, because in most life things I’m very decisive.
But in this, I can’t say that. I really am being indecisive.
I’m sitting here mulling over all kinds of things rather than just take a step.
It seems so utterly inefficient and impractical to just take a step. It feels like such a waste of energy.
I keep wanting to feel or know how this step fits. Is this a step that reflects who I choose to be? How is it going to fit in the bigger picture of me or my work? Will I be contributing what is worthy of me?
But to not take a step it to not move. To never know. To sit within myself trapped by the thing that others see clearly as the annoying thing I trip over time and again.
Ugh. Not that. I’ve had enough of that.
Here’s what’s true. No matter where I step or how, it will ALWAYS be me. I can not be inefficient or unworthy or outside my plan. That’s just not the way creation works. And my mind just really can’t grasp that.
It can’t. It’s just not possible for my mind to really get it. It’s been so completely well trained that efficiency and plans and purpose are paramount. That things are linear and that this action does in fact lead to that outcome.
I realize that all of these things are not truly true. Yeah, but my mind keeps falling into its old comfortable patterns.
What’s true is that water cannot NOT be water. In a lake or a cloud or as a river or as rain. It will be what it is. Water will be water, ALWAYS.
I will be me no matter what, always.
What I can choose is how much of me to express, in what ways, toward what end.
And I’ll only ever know this by taking those steps; each step revealing more to me and of me.
I’ll just be getting on with it now.
How about you?