Judith Manriquez

Intuitive business mentor for spiritual women

Personal

A message of hope

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May 6, 2020. After COVID-19 and as Texas begins to re-open.

I’ve been quiet these last few weeks as I feel for what’s next. There’s been adjusting, going within, and listening for my truth.

It’s certainly been an interesting time.

In December, when I was planning, I couldn’t see/feel past March and assumed it was because the work needed to evolve through choices made.

And look what’s taken place! We’ve come together – globally – in self-reflection and adjustment to what we are now learning is a new normal.

I feel and see patterns and possibilities. And this new normal leaves me so excited by the possibilities now available to us.

It’s as though the hopes and dreams of so many built up a tidal wave of pressure that broke through and washed over the land. And then, as they settled upon every heart and home, we’ve had to pause.

Please know, I’m fully aware that not everyone has paused and this too has contributed to the expansion of possibilities.

Because we paused, we’ve had the time – true, still, time – at a magnitude we’ve never had collectively. As a result, we’ve created a moment to SEE and FEEL in ways we never have before.

  • We are reconnecting to what matters individually and personally.
  • We are reflecting and acknowledging what we value that we where taking for granted or overlooking. Graduations/shared rituals, meals with friends in social settings, the comfort and safety of routines, the structure of schedules.
  • We are noticing that things that felt impossible before are truly possible. Like flexible, work-from-home opportunities, schooling from home, whole countries making choices for a collective good, cleaner air and water.
  • We are noticing within us how we come to know our own truth, because there are certainly more options offered as truth now than ever before.

There’s no going back. There’s no return to what was ‘normal.’ There’s no un-seeing or un-feeling what we have found within us.

But this new normal? It’s brimming with hope and expanded possibilities like I’ve never felt before.

You may not feel it or see it yet. It’s going to take a few more months for the trauma, shock and fear to ebb. It’s going to take more time for everyone to move through their grief. And many may feel aftershocks for a while to come.

Just know, the new normal brings bright, fresh and expansive possibilities.

Know also, that we have the people and the awareness to craft the way and build out those possibilities.

Trust in yourself – the heart of you, the truth of you, the wisdom of you.

Trust in the ever-evolving beauty of creation.

And know that all is well.

 

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Photo credit: Photo by Isabel Herrera on Unsplash

It’s okay to start when you’re unclear

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Each time I begin working with a new client I’m reminded that clarity is a process. And a moving target.

It’s a journey to find your way toward any desire, including clarity.

Let’s say you want clear offers, pricing and niche for your business. 

It’s so comforting to think you can think your way through to clarity.

But clarity is a feeling. It’s this unique cocktail of confidence and certainty and ease and a few other things unique to you.

The only consistent way I’ve found or reached clarity is through lived experience. 

So to reach the place of clear offers, pricing and niche – you start. You start with where you are and what you want so you can have experiences that bring you closer to feeling clarity. It’ll arrive and settle in and you’ll soar.

And then over time what happens is that beautiful offer that felt so clear stops feeling good.

So you then go back through a new process of Starting so you can experience your way to new clarity.

This is the natural process of life. We don’t arrive. We evolve.

I’m just coming back around and through this exact cycle – only to find that where I started is where I want to be.

Except the feelings have shifted into a more solid knowing.

My core work is all about helping women grow their business in ease. That has been clear for a long while. But other pieces within that have felt slippery and unstable. Unclear.

But I started. And each new client and each new conversation revealed a new piece. As did the living of life; my own inner work has brought me closer.

Yesterday a piece shook itself out and as I look at it now I wonder why it didn’t feel clear before. 

“I work with spiritual leaders and teachers. Both emerging – or as I prefer to say ‘rising’ – and lifetimers who’ve been on the path for a decade or more.”

That statement right there seems so natural and right, almost obvious, but it has never felt as clear and solid to me as it does now. For those of you who know me well, you’re probably thinking ‘of course.’

Nothing really changes with that clarity. My offers and how I work and what I do stay the same.

But the feeling within me is clear, and that changes everything.

This has been a journey for me. One that required me to grow my own gifts. One that felt almost continually unclear. 

So I just want to remind you – it’s okay to start and walk for a good long while – and feel unclear.

There is nothing wrong.

There’s nothing you need to do to fix the unclarity.

Just allow yourself to find the easiest, best feeling choices and the clarity will arrive.

And when it does, everything will very likely be in place just like you wanted when you started the journey way back then.

 

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Photo by Analise Benevides on Unsplash

7 Lessons for coping as an empath

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Recently I wrote a post on being an empath that resonated with a lot of people very deeply. This morning I received a new comment to that post that touched me so profoundly that I had to write a longer response to share with James and with anyone else whom it might help.

James wrote:

[quote]I always attributed my ability to perceive the emotions and moods of those around me as simply paying close unconscious attention to subtle facial, expressions, body language, tone of voice, etc. I believed that my sensitivity to these signals came to be as a result of growing up in a violent environment where being sensitive to such things was a necessity for self-preservation. I thought that it was common and that I was just like any other sensitive person.

Over time I’ve come to believe it’s more than that. It’s both a gift and a curse. Being able to connect with others on such a deep personal level and offer kindness, compassion and understanding is more meaningful and beautiful than words can describe.

The other side is experiencing being completely overwhelmed by the anxiety pain and suffering of the world around me. It can take me to a very sad and lonely place. Unfortunately, when this happens I tend to numb myself with alcohol. It’s sad that I know of no other way to get through these occasional difficult times but I am not ashamed. It’s been the “medicine” that has allowed me to live a happy, normal, productive life. Without the ability to numb myself when I need to I might not be here today. I wish I had a more positive coping mechanism, and I’ve searched, but I’ve not found one.[/quote]

 

James, I think just about every empath believes as you have, that what we feel is the result of being good at paying attention to the subtle signals in the people around us. It’s a bit of an eye-opener as we begin to learn and realize that not everyone ‘feels’ as we do.  (Let me be very clear for non-empaths. When I say ‘feels,’ I mean having the physical and emotional sensations of someone else’s emotions.)

And you have so beautifully encapsulated the experience as both a ‘gift and a curse’ – “Being able to connect with others on such a deep personal level and offer kindness, compassion and understanding is more meaningful and beautiful than words can describe. The other side is experiencing being completely overwhelmed by the anxiety, pain and suffering of the world around me.”

It is so true. An empath’s ability to feel someone else’s emotions at an energetic level is a gift – even more so when coupled with a compassionate and loving heart. It makes us perfectly tailored to naturally respond to the other person and offer them what they need, without even realizing we are dipping into our own reserves to heal and soothe the other.

 

Scale that empathic capability – of feeling what one other person feels – and focus on an issue or cause in the world like hunger, or poverty or children without clean water,  and in moments you become one single person feeling the emotions and hardships of thousands or millions. Now that can be truly overwhelming.

 

And that overwhelm can soon become oppressive and formidable when we don’t know what to do to find relief. Or when what we have devised to cope is only that – coping to get by.

You are not alone when you turn to alcohol to find some relief. I believe many of us do.  My friend and I also turn to a good margarita (or two) when we’ve had a rough day and need to disconnect.  I know that I also use other foods to ground my energy – mostly really delicious fried or greasy things – a burger and fries does the trick for me most times. I commend you for being aware and knowing what is going on. I think many, many of our children are highly empathic and energy-sensitive and without any guidance on how to work with their energy they too turn to food to ground them or numb them. They don’t know and don’t have anyone to explain or help.

You mentioned that you have searched for other means of coping. Since I don’t know what you’ve tried, or what other people reading this have found, I’m sharing the lessons I’ve learned in hopes that you find something new.

 

Lesson #1 – Your empathic sense is like a language

 

It might help to think about it this way. Your empathic sense is like a language. It’s like we’ve all grown up speaking English. And before long we realize we really need to be able to fluently speak an unknown language (the language of empaths). It’s ridiculously frustrating because the English speakers can’t help us learn this language because the language we need to learn is subjective and person specific and there isn’t much common ground.

Here we are, you and me and other empaths, teaching ourselves a language without words. We’re learning to navigate the energy systems of our body without the comfortable assurance of our 5 physical senses.

 

Needless to say, I believe it’s really important to continue learning the language for our own well being.

I continue learning and sharing so that my kids have a different and better experience. So that they have more than just me to look to when they need help and counsel managing and working with their energy systems.

Lesson #2  – Use Source energy not your energy

 

Your body is a complex energy system. All of us are energy; constantly creating, sending, and receiving whether we realize it or not.  So when we ’empath’ someone else’s feelings what we are doing is energetically focusing on that person and taking their ‘hurting’ energy into ourselves and simultaneously sending them our energy to help them feel better. The end result: we drain out our own personal energy, and end up feeling emotional overwhelm, exhaustion, anxiety or more.

What can you do instead? Your complex energy system has a direct connection to Divine Source energy – that is infinite, loving and perfectly what is needed at all times. Learn to connect to Source energy consciously (or imagine doing it if you can’t sense or feel it) and when you find yourself feeling someone else’s feelings intend that Source energy flow THROUGH you to the person in need. Do not use your energy. Do not take their energy on. Believe that Source energy can and does flow through you to the other person filling them with exactly what they need. Practice this a few times and notice the difference it makes for you and them.

Lesson #3 – If you connect, you can also disconnect

 

Know that when you connect to world energy, and you can also consciously disconnect.

I know this one sounds easier than it really is. I promise my dear friend has taken me to task more than once for glibly noting that she has connected to a global energy so she should just disconnect.

Here’s what I suggest: first, and most importantly, you have to notice and be aware that what you are feeling is global energy. When you do, close your eyes, breath deeply, feel or imagine your core energy and consciously ground yourself.  Once you are grounded, 1) imagine you are disconnecting, 2) say or think the words “I disconnect my energy from all energies that are not serving my highest good” and 3) ask for Source, God or Divine help.

You may or may not feel a shift or change but it is the intent of your actions that carries the power, and I believe it begins to train your personal energy systems. As you learn to be more aware of how or when you connect to global energies, you will get better at touching them and letting go faster.

Lesson #4 – Find an energy practitioner (or two or three) to help you

 

Simple, but so true. Get help.

Fortunately, consciousness is shifting so there are more energy workers openly talking about and sharing their talents. And with the internet we can more easily find them. And even better, many of them offer their services remotely so you can be in different parts of the country and still get the help you need.

Each energy practitioner has his or her own set of unique skills and talents so you have to look around for what it is that your particular energy needs. And recognize that you may ‘graduate’ to new and different practitioners as you develop and grow.

My journey has brought me into contact with many different practitioners with quite differing skills. In every instance they helped with where I was on my journey.

 

Lesson #5 – Take energy classes and find teachers and mentors

 

You are empathic.  You feel energy. Find the modalities that help you work with it.

I took classes in Resonance Repatterning and Spiritual Response Therapy. These worked for me. You might also consider Reiki as a good place to start. Because once you start, you meet other people who offer you additional resources and options you never considered or knew about.

Lesson #6 – Meditate daily

 

If you are not already meditating daily, get to it.

As an empath you REQUIRE the centering and grounding time that meditation provides, even if only 10 minutes a day.

If you are not already meditating, my personal counsel is to let go of any and all rules about what meditation is and how it’s done.  Do a little research online to get the idea, sit down in a quiet space, breath and let your body guide you with what feels most helpful.

Lesson #7 – Find kindred spirits

 

Create a support group of friends who understand what you are experiencing.  Start talking about being an empath with people you know. You would not believe how many people want to talk about the energy and Spirit questions they have. As you start talking with people you find the ones who can be helpful, understand you, support you and will help you on your daily quest to learn this language without words.

 

So tell me, has this helped you? And if so, how?

 

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Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Originally published March 29, 2013

 

Why be ok with the muck?

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Yesterday I was ‘invited’ to spend some time being aware of the way (ok – ways!) I make myself wrong.

This is not a comfortable exercise.

Not because it’s not true. I know it’s true. I know I make myself wrong. I know it’s a core belief system for me. It’s not the first time I’ve worked with a coach or guide or teacher who has brought me to this point of awareness.

And because it’s uncomfortable I’m squirming in the muck of it. I don’t like seeing how I make myself wrong. I feel pissy and irritated and want to grouse to my teacher and spread some of the muck around.

But during my Conversations on Mastery call today with Gloria Boysal we talked about acceptance as a part of mastery.  (You can find the recording here.)

Accepting myself for the ways I make myself wrong. Ugh.

Accepting of the irritation and distaste of doing so. Muck.

There is value in the muck. It is what is true at this moment. Being in the muck is still being in mastery. Because for me it is upward movement – as Gloria reminded me. Being in the muck is far better than making myself wrong.

And it’s only a short-lived stop on the journey to a new, more expanded core belief than the one I have now.

So for now I’ll be ok with the muck.

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Join me for my next Conversation on Mastery on Thursday, June 19 at 1:30 pm. I’ll be exploring more on mastery with Lauren Johnston.

Lauren and I have worked together for a long time and she has made some huge leaps in her business. She has a wonderful way of hearing through your story right to the core issue and then helps shift you into alignment with what you desire.

Sign up here to get the details for how to call in.

 

Staying in our mastery sure isn’t easy

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I sit wrestling with writing a post today.

I want so much for the words and the wisdom to flow. I have the ideas for at least 3 directions to take a post but the flow is not there. I’m not aligned with my desire to write.

I can feel it. My mind, my little self, is hell-bent on writing something because it has been over a month since I last wrote. I have the intention to write something weekly as a commitment to myself and my business expansion. And I’ve not been able to do so. So I want to force it out.

But being in mastery is all about staying connected to our higher Self. It’s not even about setting aside the little self – it’s about listening through it and recognizing all the ways that we are holding ourselves apart from the clear, smooth urgings of our Divinity.

For me I’m in self judgement – I’ve not done what I’d said I would do.

I’m frustrated (self judgement again) that the words are not flowing for what I want to say.

That piece of me is utterly convinced that writing the post I want to write is exactly what I must ‘do’ to create business. So I’m in fear and scarcity.

I’m forcing and angry and irritated that when I want connection and alignment I don’t have it.

Mastery isn’t controlled by thought, action or personal will.

It’s alignment with Divine Self.

It’s energetic, spiritual, mental and physical alignment with desires and intentions.

It’s surrender to allowing.

It requires us to re-wire the emotional and neural pathways of the little self.

 

So I’ve succumbed to the urging of my little self and written. And I’ve allowed the whispers of my Divine self to continue calling me forth to my mastery.

Breathe. Release. Allow.