Why is it so hard to start, and stick with, something new?
Back when I had a marketing agency, I saw this with just about every client. They had hired us to help them with a new brand, new marketing strategy, new website. They knew they needed it. They had deadlines and plans.And, now that I look back on it, I realize we developed marvelous customer service skills designed to keep our client moving toward what they wanted and needed - no matter how many of their self-created obstacles got in the way.They just couldn't keep up the momentum. They would delay approvals, change the scope, drag their feet on their responsibilities, and question the quality or effectiveness of just about everything. And when I was in the middle of all of this, I thought it was normal client behavior. And I guess in a way it is - change of any kind has a reputation for being hard.But it doesn't have to be.I've seen this in my life too. I'd like to start to workout but haven't done it. I'd like to blog at least weekly, and I'm on three weeks in a row now but it has taken me over a year to be this consistent. I try to ground, meditate, clear and shield every morning. Sometimes I do it, and I know it makes a significant difference to my day, but I don't do it daily.I'm committed. I know what I need to do to have the desired outcome. I'm organized and clever enough to adjust my life.
So why is it that I find it hard to start and stick with something new?
I boil it down to habits.
Let's take a look at how our habits affect our ability to start, and stick with, something new (or if you like, make change!) so you too can have a picture of what's going on 'behind the scenes.'
We have built habits to support our current state AND our brain has built 'solid' pathways that further support our habits.
This is pretty easy to see and experience. Try putting your toothbrush in a new place for the next two weeks. Watch how often you will go back to the original place to use it.(A year after we moved our kitchen trashcan, we were still going back to the old spot. Old habits die hard, right?)A toothbrush is a pretty innocuous item. But it illustrates the point. You have a body-mind connection for the habit of brushing your teeth. Your brain knows it's in a new place but it still takes your body to the old place. Your neurons have built a well worn path and it will take them a while to build a new path.
Now consider something like self-worth.
The habits and brain pathways might be harder to identify for self-worth but they are still there. Since self-worth is a belief, many (if not all) of your actions in daily life are habits that support that belief. What you charge for your services, how you offer your services, what you eat and how much, the clothes you buy, how you take care of your body - I can go on.Not let's just say you decide to increase the fees for your services. That's a mental pathway carrying a new thought. So it is a NEW mental pathway.To go from $100 per hour to $120 per hour requires a new mental pathway AND a new belief in your self-worth.And just like that moved toothbrush, you will need to continue to practice living into $120 per hour, because you are wired or inclined to go right back to the old rate. Changing your website, informing your staff, informing your clients, speaking your new rate to prospects and sticking with that new rate when no one is looking are all examples of practicing.Now I want you to imagine with me the repercussion to all the related habits that have been tied to the belief of self-worth that are affected by your rate increase and will require adjustment. This will help explain why, for some of you, increasing your fees may be on your to do list but remains incomplete.Beliefs ARE mental pathways. An example: I am worth (my services are worth) $100 per hour.Beliefs are also the REASON behind other mental pathways. These are often subconscious or unexplored, and are more easily seen as negatives in your life.Some examples are: (Because I believe I am worth $100 per hour) I can't afford a housekeeper. I must work 12 hour per day. This is more than most of my colleagues so it is hard to get clients. I don't take vacations because I need to work. I barely make ends meet. I need to take every client that comes my way. Updating my website is hard and I can't afford it. If I increase my fees, I'll lose my clients.Notice how self-worth beliefs affect everything from how much you work to how much you play to whether you will seek help/support for different areas of your life to your actual success in business.When you consider increasing your fees you are affecting every one of those belief-habits, and more. Can you see now how making a change has an impact on so many aspects of your life?
How you handle initiating change, and altering your habits and beliefs, depends on you.
There isn't one correct approach or solution to starting and sticking with something new. However, I find that it helps me to know that all of this is at play.My number one way for making and sticking with change is to recruit help. Help in the form of a coach, a mastermind group, a designer, and energy worker.It also helps me to jump, even if it is a small jump, and then look. Too much thought about starting bogs me down.
I've made a start. In fact, I've started something designed to help you start, too.
I've organized an online class specifically designed to help you take action, clear blocks and empower your intentions. It's a one-of-a-kind. So if you want to get started on something important to you, please check out my class, LAUNCH.
How do you start and stick with something new?
I'd love to hear your approach. Please share in the comments section below.